Broken Hearted
by FirePiskie123
Summary: This is a one-shot based on Remus, and his reaction to Sirius' death. It also covers his life from his first year up until the battle of Hogwarts. It is mainly Remus' story but is focused around the Marauders too! warning - theme of suicide at one point. Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter! *cry* anyway, reviews would be highly appreciated! :3 much love


Pain.

It was all he felt.

It consumed him, ravaged his body like fire.

Every waking moment was a living hell.

How, how could he be the only one left? It had always been the four of them, best friends, together. No one expected it, the brilliant duo James and Sirius to end up sharing their friendship with someone like him or Peter. But over the years, as their friendship grew stronger, Remus began to realise that, even with his 'furry little problem', he could still share his life with three wonderful people.

Oh how it all changed.

First, there was James and wonderful Lily, snatched away by death in a cruel twist of fate, for if their deaths weren't enough, Sirius Black, his other best friend, was found guilty of betraying them to Voldemort. He had lost two of his brothers, and the girl who had become such a wonderful friend to him, at the expense of having to put up with James for six years (before she realised she liked him of course). And then, as though death still wanted to punish him, Peter Pettigrew was murdered, or so everyone thought, by none other than Sirius Black. Sirius was arrested and sentenced to Azkaban for life. He had lost all of the marauders in one night, and had no one left.

For thirteen years, Remus busied himself, trying to find work wherever he could, although his 'furry little problem' made it near impossible for him to hold a job. But then he was offered a job at Hogwarts by Professor Dumbledore, and when he arrived that year, something incredible happened.

James came back to him.

Well, not exactly James, but Harry, his son. The boy was the exact balance of Lily and James; he had all of his mother's qualities, and her eyes, but had hidden personality traits which definitely belonged to James, plus that signature scruffy, unkempt hair. When Remus first saw him on the train, in the same compartment of all places, he listened carefully through his sleeping disguise. Harry sounded happy to be with his friends, but miserable at the Dursleys. Remus couldn't help but silently chuckle when he heard how Harry had blown up his Aunt Marge. "Oh James" he thought to himself with a small smile, "You never really left did you".

During the year that followed, Remus felt like he had gained one of his best friends back from the dead. He looked after Harry carefully, and made sure he was as happy as possible. But the news of Sirius having escaped brought great conflicting emotions for Remus, and he didn't know what to do. Many a time he found himself in Dumbledore's office, pouring out his sorrows to the wise old man, who would comfort him and assure him that "things will turn out okay".

And sure enough, at the end of the year, things did turn out to be okay. Remus was granted the impossible; he was reunited with Sirius. It was a very tense night, for as fate would have it the full moon had to show its shining head, but the very next day when sat in Dumbledore's office, he learnt that Sirius had managed to escape on Buckbeak, and that Harry and Hermione had set him free.

Needless to say, it was the best day of his life.

He knew that all four marauders were alive again that night, and roaming Hogwarts as they had once done for seven years, even if one of them turned out to be a treacherous little rat. The thought of having two of his best friends back, the ones who really mattered, was incredible. He may have left Hogwarts after the whole situation, but to him it did not matter. He was whole again.

Over the next two years, he worked for the Order of the Phoenix, going underground on several missions to the darkest of places, but always with the thought that he had people waiting back home who cared about him. He had moved in to Grimmauld Place with Sirius, and spent three out of four weeks per month enjoying his company there. Of course, being a Werewolf meant that he couldn't be around humans all of the time, and so the week of the full moon he would move out to a desolate area, ready to undergo his transformation. It had been so much better at Hogwarts when he had his animagus friends with him, but obviously that couldn't happen anymore.

He had watched as Harry came out of the Triwizard tournament in his fourth year, having just witnessed the 'rebirth' of Voldemort. In the year that followed, Harry was heavily criticised by the wizarding community, and sneered at by the whole ministry, which was already falling to pieces. But his heart remained strong, and he supported Harry as much as he could, and always made sure to talk to Sirius, to save him from dying of boredom while trapped in Grimmauld Place.

Nothing could have prepared him and his fragile heart for the Department of Mysteries.

The fighting was chaotic. Death eaters were sending every curse imaginable flying round the room, and he didn't know who was where. The adults were battling it out, no holds barred, and the teenagers were mostly safe, all apart from Harry, who was fighting alongside Sirius. God he could be just like James sometimes. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Harry throw a well-aimed curse at Lucius, and heard Sirius call out "Nice one James!".

Remus' heart stopped as he turned in slow motion to face Sirius. He stood frozen as he saw Bellatrix appear, and saw the flash of green light hit his best friend right in the chest. The last laugh of Sirius Black remained etched on his face, as he tumbled backwards through the veil that stood in the middle of the room.

And so, that was what led him to this. The pain he felt in his heart ached beyond anything imaginable. Every time he saw Sirius' face fall through that veil, it was like a repeated stab to the chest. In the dusty living room at Sirius' house, he sat, the empty bottle of Firewhisky in his hand, and several others scattered across the floor. Nothing, not even the flaming sensation of alcohol, could burn away his pain. Reaching inch by inch across the floor, he slowly grabbed hold of the knife that he had discarded minutes ago. Taking deep breaths, he held the knife across his left wrist, ready to let the pain ease out of him for the last time, when in a flash the door burst open and he was disarmed from the deadly weapon with a loud "Expelliarmus!".

There stood Nymphadora Tonks, tears glistening in her eyes as she stared at the scene in front of her. Remus lay slumped on the floor, barely awake, head lolling to one side as a lone tear crept down his face, illuminated by the moon shining through the dusty windows.

"Oh Remus" she sighed, pulling him up slightly as she crouched down beside him. With a shaking hand, she pointed her wand at his chest and whispered "Enervate".

He tried so desperately not to open his eyes, shame filling him that she had to see him this way, or see him at all. But in the end, he knew she would not relent until he spoke to her, so he shifted himself up until he was upright against the cabinet, and looked at her beautiful pale blue eyes gleaming slightly in the darkened room. She always captivated his presence, especially oh those eyes.

"Remus" she whispered, her gaze pouring into him. "How could you do this? Did you not realise we all love you, and that you would be missed?" Tears began to stream down her face as she realised for a moment he could have been gone.

"Tonks, he's gone. I can't go on without him" he choked, unable to speak suddenly. "It hurts, everything hurts so much".

"But Remus, you aren't the only one who is hurting" said Tonks quietly. "He was my cousin, and I loved him dearly. And Harry, how do you think he feels? He's just lost the man who was slowly becoming a father figure to him. How do you think we'd feel if you were gone too?"

"You… you would get on fine without me" he said, his voice reaching barely above a whisper. His gaze shifted to the floor, as he knew that through all of this, his presence in the world was not something important or relevant.

Tonks stared at him, shock written across her face. "How can you say that" she exclaimed. "I would never get on without you. Remus, you are the only one who keeps me going, day by day. You're the person who I care most about in the world. Remus, I… I love you".

The room was as still as a statue, the earth itself seemed to have stopped moving. Time slowed down to a complete standstill, and Remus felt as though he was suddenly very exposed. All his emotions were pouring out of him, all his secrets he had kept, all the pain and sorrow, all the memories of him and his friends. For that moment, though she did not know it, Remus had just let go of every single negative emotion he had ever felt. It was as though a whole new personality had just been born inside of him. Someone who could see a life waiting at the end of this long, arduous journey.

"Are you going to say something?" she whispered nervously, heart held frozen in her mouth. But Remus had no words. Instead, he pulled her to him, and encased her in a beautiful kiss full of love and desire and everything he had ever felt towards her. She responded with a mixture of longing, desperation and comfort. For those few minutes, nothing else mattered. The whole world was irrelevant to the couple as sparks flew, like a beautiful firework display, their hearts and souls completely intertwined with one another.

That night, Remus Lupin had been reborn.

.

It was May 2nd, 1998. The Battle of Hogwarts was raging on, and all around, teachers, students, family, friends, and the remaining Order of the Phoenix fought with all their might. They fought for freedom, for justice, for love, for the light.

In the castle, down a broken hallway, two people fought side by side. Remus and Nymphadora Lupin fought back to back, always some part of them connected. All around them, the castle walls shook, and screams echoed down the corridors. Remus fought for his fallen brothers, James and Sirius. They both fought for their family, and for their son Teddy. Everyone they held dear, past and present, was there with them tonight.

Around the corner, 5 more death eaters appeared, wands brandished. It was now 8 against two. Remus turned to face Tonks, both knowing it was the end. For the very last time, he pulled her in for a kiss; arms wrapped round each other, love pouring into their souls. It was the most beautiful kiss they ever shared, soft and tender and perfect. As the world exploded around them, Remus and Tonks were lost in each other, for nothing could destroy their souls when they were together. And so, it came to pass that on that night, Remus and Tonks died in each other's arms.


End file.
